I feel like I’m at my ugliest grossest fattest worst etc. I have failed myself and everyone at everything and I want to die. I’m a repulsive waste.
Some people say depression is like drowning. That you’re just trying to keep your head above water while everyone is just floating with the tide. But for me, it’s like I’m sinking to the ocean floor and I can’t muster the will to swim or feel anything at all.
Get off my bed get out of room go away you make me uncomfortable
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
I’m angry at the world and myself and I just want to kill myself. I want to finally be done with all this.
Two other women, also breast cancer survivors, said their husbands left them after they were diagnosed. Both had to have mastectomies (in case anyone doesn’t know, this is the surgical operation to remove one or both breasts).
The first woman said her husband told her that he would rather see her dead than see her lose her breasts. The second woman had her operation and waited all day to be picked up by her husband, who never arrived. By nightfall, one of the nurses offered to give her a ride, and she came home to find the house empty.
Obviously, these are extreme cases of a man’s reaction to his wife’s breast cancer, but this is what I see when I see the “I ♥ Boobies” bracelets. I see love of the body parts, not the person being treated—not the patient, not the victim, not the survivor."